Monday July 25, 2011
So, I know…I am late posting again…sorry coaches! Something is happening to me this summer that I cannot quite put my finger on..I will call it~ugh.
Anyhoo, I was listening to NPR this morning and they are doing a series about obesity in America.
I listen to this woman speak about how even if she lost the weight it still is a struggle because of what would be left behind as evidence of her obesity… extra skin, stretch marks. I could hear her talking herself out of getting healthy because her body would not be perfect even if she does take off the weight. It sounded so familiar….sounded so much like me.
Now, I never got as heavy as the woman in the story this morning, but I was getting close. I told myself the same things she does. Even after I found CrossFit and started working out, losing weight…I would look at myself and see…a body that in some ways looked worse. The skin…the marks~ugh~On more than one occasion, I said to people, “at least when I was heavier my skin was not so ugly.”
But this morning, I realized that sometime …very recently…I stopped caring about the loose skin and the scars on my belly. I know I won’t ever be free of them, I will never have a “perfect” belly…I was too heavy for too long to get this flat without surgery. That skin…those scars? they are my road map….they show me where I was and how to steer clear of that place of being unhealthy.
So, yeah…I’ll never wear short shorts or a two piece bathing suit, but I can move and play and throw hammers and jog with a 25lb plate and get through my day without a nap. Vivi looked at me this weekend as I was painting and said, ” Mom, I think you have a two pack.” How cute is that? a two pack…I’ll take it girl. I don’t I really care anymore about the perfect body. Which…feels good too.
I wonder where else this road map will lead me?