What I don’t feel….
Sunday June 12, 2011
The coaches have talked about the importance of rest before and they have posted about the more technical side of rest days here on the bloggy blog. So I get it…I even read a blog somewhere about a Crossfitter who was required by his coaches to stop coming in for a while because he was clearly over training.
Then why am I annoyed at myself about how I am feeling? It is funny, I have come to this place of expecting to be able to power through…Fran; Annie; or crazy amounts of Wall Balls. I also have come to believe that almost anything I am feeling should be examined through the lens of nutrition. If I just eat right for my body, I can be free of the ups and downs that carbs cause for me.
(I am about to cross over into new heights of over disclosure here, so turn away if you are queasy.)
So this weekend hits….my system has been struggling for 10 days now…you see I have entered mid-life and all the changes that come along for women during that time. I have had a period for ten days~10 days ….yesterday, day nine, I hit a wall. I had no energy. I kept thinking I should just power through what I needed to do, I kept wondering if I had eaten a bunch of sugar without knowing it, I kept feeling weaker and weaker. I found myself hunting through my cabinets searching for the food that would cure this feeling. THAT was scary in a way because it reminded me of the time(not so long ago) that I would search for food to dull my emotional pain. I took Vitamin B, I took fish oil, I took Vitamin C.
I was really irritated I could not will myself or feed myself into feeling better.
Then this morning…Still…Really? Day 10.
I hit the garden…plant some flowers…start putting mulch in the garden. Then I nearly fainted. DAMMIT. I realize that in addition to the 10 day period I am experiencing, the smoke in the air is making my breathing more and more difficult. I threw the shovel down, came in the house, sucked on my inhaler and sat down.
I have been sitting down now for about 6 hours. I have also decided to stop trying to fix how I am feeling and simply allow myself to feel drained. I am drained.
I think I have to just rest. I am gonna hit the sack early and let my body do the repairs it can only do while sleeping. I am going to stop trying to “fix” myself…and simply feel this drained feeling…then I will appreciate the energy I do have when it returns.